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Learn About Sense Care in “Christian Bullies: Stop Hitting Your Children”

a dark room with a lamp shining over the book title

Learn about sense care with the first section free:

Section 1[1]

Spanking is acceptable to eighty percent of born-again Christians[2].

However, the mistaken assumption that hitting children is not only a good thing but also a “God thing” is based on an inaccurate and selective reading of the Bible, as well as a lack of knowledge of recent sociological studies.

“Whoever spares the rod dislikes their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them,” says Proverbs 13:24.

The word “rod” is the keyword here. According to Michael Eric Dyson, an ordained Baptist pastor and professor of sociology at Georgetown University, the Hebrew term translated “rod” refers to a shepherd’s rod, which “was used to regulate the sheep, not to beat them,” as he recently said in the New York Times[3]. The author of Proverbs 13:24 (and the other “rod” passages) is saying that loving parents would guide, lead, and punish their children rather than beating them.

Several New Testament verses forbid assaulting a child. There are several warnings against different sorts of physical violence, including, of course, the famous commandment to “turn the other cheek” rather than react in fury when provoked. Both Ephesians 6 and Colossians 3 instruct parents not to provoke their children. Jesus defended children, issued a stern warning about harming them, and taught that violence only breeds greater violence.

. There is also a more practical reason to forbid spanking: It’s not going to work.

Many social scientists have studied the effects of spanking on children, and most of their findings are unfavorable. Elizabeth Gershoff, a University of Texas professor, spent 15 years systematically examining hundreds of studies on physical punishment conducted over more than 60 years. “I’ve never done research that has shown a positive effect of spanking,” Gershoff added. She also mentions spanking “does not improve your children’s behavior. You think it does… No, it doesn’t.”[4]

According to research based on real-time home audio recordings, children who were beaten or slapped by their parents frequently misbehaved again within 10 minutes.[5] It’s also been linked to “hostile attribution bias,” which means the child expects people to be hostile toward them.[6]

A recent study has also found that children who are spanked may have less grey matter in their brains, impairing their ability to understand incentives and consequences or make critical decisions. Individuals may be predisposed to addiction or depression because of this.[7] According to Ingram (as well as James Dobson and other orthodox Christians), the more you physically scold your children, the less self-control your children have.

In addition to the potential long-term psychological and physiological consequences of hitting your child, there is an increased risk of acute bodily harm. Tulane University professor Catherine Taylor discovered after studying 2,500 children that “hitting for punishment increases the probability of child abuse by three times, and by nine times if an object such as a belt is used.”[8]

When parents beat during an emotional moment or vent their own repressed rage, the risk of abuse increases. Of course, most parents will tell you that they spank their children lightly and seldom. But many parents aren’t fully aware of their child-rearing practices. Researchers at Southern Methodist University, for example, discovered that parents who spank their children report they do so around 18 times a year, but it is more like 18 times a week.[9]

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[1] Merritt, J. (2015, January 11). Christians have no moral rationale for spanking their children. The Week. Retrieved February 26, 2022, from https://theweek.com/articles/443585/christians-have-no-moral-rationale-spanking-children

[2] Corporal punishment, the abuse of authority and the rights of children. Corporal Punishment, the Abuse of Authority and the Rights of Children. (n.d.). Retrieved February 26, 2022, from http://chainthedogma.blogspot.com/2011/11/corporal-punishment-abuse-of-authority.html

[3] Dyson, M. E. (2014, September 17). Punishment or child abuse? The New York Times. Retrieved February 26, 2022, from https://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/18/opinion/punishment-or-child-abuse.html?_r=0

[4] Corporal punishment, the abuse of authority and the rights of children. Corporal Punishment, the Abuse of Authority and the Rights of Children. (n.d.). Retrieved February 26, 2022, from http://chainthedogma.blogspot.com/2011/11/corporal-punishment-abuse-of-authority.html

[5] The week: Christians have no moral rationale for spanking their children. SMU Research. (2020, February 18). Retrieved February 26, 2022, from https://blog.smu.edu/research/2014/09/24/the-week-christians-have-no-moral-rationale-for-spanking-their-children/

[6] Lee, S., Chang, H., Ip, K. I., & Olson, S. L. (2019, August). Early socialization of hostile attribution bias: The roles of parental attributions, parental discipline, and child attributes. Social development (Oxford, England). Retrieved February 26, 2022, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6764772/#:~:text=Hostile%20attribution%20bias%20(HAB)%20refers,et%20al.%2C%202002).

[7] Kovac, S. (2014, July 23). Spanking the gray matter out of our kids. CNN. Retrieved February 26, 2022, from https://www.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/effects-spanking-brain/index.html#:~:text=Researchers%20found%20children%20who%20were,disorders%2C%20the%20study%20authors%20say.

[8] Corporal punishment, the abuse of authority and the rights of children. Corporal Punishment, the Abuse of Authority and the Rights of Children. (n.d.). Retrieved February 26, 2022, from http://chainthedogma.blogspot.com/2011/11/corporal-punishment-abuse-of-authority.html

[9] Perry, S., writer, M. P. contributing, & Susan PerrySusan Perry writes Second Opinion for MinnPost. (2014, April 21). Parents often spank out of anger and for trivial reasons, real-time study finds. MinnPost. Retrieved February 26, 2022, from https://www.minnpost.com/second-opinion/2014/04/parents-often-spank-out-anger-and-trivial-reasons-real-time-study-finds/

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Life Therapeutics Presents, “All About God: A True Story of Salvation and Sanctification”

Life Therapeutics Presents the First Three Chapters Free!

Cockroaches

It’s moving slow; then off it goes like a gun’s been

Shot, and the race is on.

            Then it stops again. That’s how they move. Start and stop, stop and start.

            That’s how people are too. Just bigger starts and bigger stops. Awake and sleep, sleep and awake.

            I think of them as our roommates. We have so many roommates. And what did my roommate have to say today?

            It’s like a tiny crunching. If a twig could talk, words were put through a blender, then used again. If a tree whispered as softly as it could, so softly you convinced yourself it was all in your head.

            That’s something what a cockroach sounds like if you get close enough. Just make sure it doesn’t touch your face.

            And if one gets in your food, throw away the food. They’re dirty.

            Speaking of dirty, don’t use the dishes on top. They’ve probably been walked all over. And who knows what else.

            If it’s dark, walk on your tippy-toes. You’ll have less chance of stepping on one. It’s an ugly feeling to press the body of a bug into your skin with one quick crush.

            Last of all, don’t leave things on the floor or counter, like your toys or games—the same reason as the dishes.

            I tried talking to someone at school about all this, but he said he “doesn’t have cockroaches.” It made me wonder what he did have.

            Everyone’s different, I suppose.

The Dark

A lot of people are afraid of it. I’ve heard them say so. They’re so scared of what they can’t see.

            It’s different for me. I’m afraid of what I can see. And hear.

            Some nights, when I close my eyes and lie down, there’s a moment of silence and then a distant scream inside my head. I jump up, like one of those blow-up dolls you hit just to have it swing back up so you can hit it again because that’s what people like doing.

            My parents let me sleep in their bed when this happens. When they need to sleep, I stop jumping up, even though I want to, and just open my eyes real quick. The screaming stops if I’m awake. When I begin to doze off that it’s much too noisy to sleep.

            My mom says she’ll pray for me. That means she’ll ask God to solve the problem. She says it’s “mortal mind” causing my problems, which means my mind. So I guess if I think right, I’ll get better. But I don’t know how to think right. I’m too tired.

            I lie awake for hours and hours, then at some point, I just wake up, and it’s the next day. I never can remember falling asleep. It just happens eventually. I suppose it’s like fainting.

            But until that happens, I watch the darkness. It’s always moving. Shadows come slowly toward me, slow like they’re on their tippy-toes and trying to sneak up on me right in front of me. But mostly, the darkness just floats around in chunks, like it’s been broken into pieces. It’s like the darkness is relaxing in a pool, the way they move, like something tied to a string and hung where there’s always a slight breeze.

            I tried to tell my mom that shadows move, and she told me to stop being silly. That’s what she says when I’m afraid of things. That’s why I don’t tell her much anymore. Anything that isn’t silly is prayed for and never seems to do anything.

            Why is God not listening?

School

I just started sixth grade. I learn a lot there.

            Today, I learned that it’s time to start doing my laundry. Someone made fun of me for wearing the same shirt two days in a row. I didn’t know this was a bad thing.

            That’s how I learn most things. The other kids tell me. And sometimes they hit me or throw rocks at me. That’s when I learn the fastest.

            Two things are hard about doing laundry:

            1. Walking to the room with the machines. It’s not far, but I don’t like going outside too much. It’s where all the bugs and people are.

            2. It costs money.

            My parents have quarters sometimes. They keep them in a dirty cup in the shape of a duck. But sometimes the duck is empty. That’s when I make sure to wear different shirts anyway, carefully picking the least dirty one.

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Get Divine Therapy From “For the Unhappy Christian: A Workbook to Encourage Healing”

Soul Supplement: Time for Divine TherapyExcerpts from “For the Unhappy Christian: A Workbook to Encourage Healing”

God hears everything. There hasn’t been a single thought or whisper that He didn’t hear clear as a bell. That makes divine therapy the best kind of therapy. Let’s start by telling God a little bit about how you’re feeling. Have you been having feelings of unhappiness lately? Why? Do you often worry? What do you worry about? Write whatever comes to mind. There’s no need for a filter when you’re 1- on-1 with your Heavenly Father. It’s like a soul supplement.



































Throughout this workbook, I will be suggesting things you can do that have been proven to help people lead a more fulfilling life. You’re not obligated to do any of them. They are just things to consider.


My first suggestion is to volunteer. If you can volunteer at your church, that would
probably be the first place to try. Volunteering outside the church is also a great idea. We are called to serve our fellow man, and that includes all people. All people. You’ve probably heard about the benefits of volunteering before, and maybe you didn’t care to listen. Or maybe you’re too busy—or at least you think you’re too busy.

But it’s about priorities. If you decide that volunteering is important to you then there is likely time available in your schedule for that. But don’t do it if you just want to make yourself feel better. “One key for deriving health benefits from volunteering is to do it for the right reasons. A 2012 study in the journal Health Psychology showed that participants who volunteered with some regularity lived
longer, but only if their intentions were truly altruistic. In other words, they had to be volunteering to help others—not to make themselves feel better.”


If you are older, here is a website that can connect you to volunteer opportunities. This website focuses on isolation and loneliness, so volunteering is just one of its many features. To find the volunteer opportunities, click “Get Involved” in the upper right corner.
https://connect2affect.org/
If you’re younger, here is a website that can connect you to volunteer opportunities. If needed, you can earn volunteer hours and a certificate.
https://www.dosomething.org/us 1

Throughout this workbook, there will be Scripture to read, like a supplement for your soul. Try to read all of it and try to force yourself to read slowly. Reading it more than once is also a good idea.
“The Way of Love
13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have
not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-12)
Let’s read verse 12 again:
“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”
What do you think this means? What does it make you think about? Don’t worry about trying to think of a good or correct answer. Write about how it makes you feel.

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Trinity Therapeutics Christian Books – “God’s Solution: Bible Verses and Prayers on Depression, Anxiety, and Anger”

Trinity Therapeutics Christian Books for Mental Health

1: DEUTERONOMY 31:8  

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Prayer:
 While depression can make you feel lonely, God is still there with me. And he’s not going anywhere.

2: PHILIPPIANS 4:8  

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Prayer: 
Although there may be difficult or dark times, taking time to be grateful and reflect on things that are good can lift my spirits.       
 3: PHILIPPIANS 4:13

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Prayer: Depression can zap your energy and make it feel almost impossible to accomplish even simple tasks. But this verse reminds me that Christ is always there for me. Through Him, I can find the will to get through even the darkest times.

4: JOHN 16:33  

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Prayer: Jesus knows that we will experience difficult times. These comforting words can be a source of strength as we reflect on His love for all of us. Through faith, we can overcome the obstacles in our lives.        

5: JEREMIAH 29:11  

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Prayer: There are better times ahead. God has a plan for me, even if my current circumstances are proving difficult.

6: MATTHEW 11:28  

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Prayer: Feelings of depression can be a heavy burden, and many people make the mistake of thinking it’s a burden they must carry alone. This verse serves as a reminder that Jesus is there to lift my burdens and provide relief.         

7: PROVERBS 3:5-6  

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Prayer: When you’re struggling with depression, it can be difficult to understand why you’re feeling certain emotions. This verse reminds you that the way forward is by trusting the Lord to provide guidance. Things will look up.

8: 1 PETER 5:7

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

Prayer: Depression and anxiety can be isolating experiences. But Jesus is there, and He cares about me. I can turn to Him for help with whatever I may be feeling.            

9: PSALM 23:4  

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Prayer: This verse serves as a reminder of God’s love for us. Even in dark times when you’re confronting difficult situations, He is walking alongside you and guiding you on a righteous path forward.            

 10: PSALM 9:9  

“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”

Prayer: Depression can make you feel as though you’re weighed down. But no matter how troubled I feel, this verse reminds me that the Lord is always there to support me.  

11: MATTHEW 6:33  

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Prayer: I know that if I place God first in my life life and focus on Him, He can help me find what I need to overcome all obstacles.  

12: JOSHUA 1:9  

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, and do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Prayer: 
Through previous struggles in my life, God has always been there. Even if I’m struggling with depression and other mental health concerns, God will continue to be by my side.            

13: PSALM 40: 1-2  

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.”

Prayer:
God, it truly can feel like I’m in a pit sometimes. Through faith in You, I can find stability once again.         

 14: ISAIAH 41:10  

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Prayer:
 Dealing with depression can be scary. But this verse reminds me that with God on my side, there’s nothing to fear. I will find the strength I need to weather the storm by placing my trust in Him.             

 15: PSALM 34:18  

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Prayer:
Even when I’m in low spirits, I know that God still loves me.

For the rest of the prayers and verses from Trinity Therapeutic’s Christian Books, “God’s Solution” check out: